5 Tattoo Ideas That Will Prove You’re Not Basic

Tattoo trends come and go rather quickly. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who experienced an angsty phase in the 90’s—roughly 70% of said generation is sure to have a graphic star or dolphin inked on their pelvic region. It’s unavoidable that some people are going to wind up with similar tattoos based on evolving cultural trends. Therefore, we have compiled a list of options to utilize if you’re tempted to give in to a trend but would prefer to maintain your sense of originality.

Basic tattoo: An infinity sign
Your alternative: A Nokia cell phone
If the infinity sign is the mathematical symbol representing the concept of infinity, I can think of no better substitute than a Nokia phone, which is guaranteed to last until the end of time. Ten bucks says that after the coming apocalypse, the only remaining signs of life will be some random species of beetles and an early-2000’s version of a Nokia cell phone.

Basic tattoo: An anchor
Your alternative: An Apache helicopter
Look, I’m not one to judge. But why spend your life donning a heavy object whose intent is to weigh you down, when you could instead sport a four-blade, twin-turbo shaft attack helicopter? Who needs to sink to the bottom of the ocean when you could be in the sky, armed with an M230 and limitless warfare survivability?

Basic tattoo: A teeny tiny heart
Your alternative: A teeny tiny pulverized liver
Because the majority of girls who get tiny hearts tattooed on their bodies spend Saturday nights crying into a trashcan on Dirty Sixth Street and consider Kylie Jenner to be a legitimate role model. It totally translates.

Basic Tattoo: An inspirational Latin phrase
Your Alternative: The same phrase, in Pig Latin
Because why bother getting “Veni, Vidi, Vici,” when you can get “I Ameca, I Awsa, and I Onqueredca.” People will totally pick up what you’re putting down and respect your love for a language that will never die, as long as immaturity persists.

Basic Tattoo: An arrow with “a ton of meaning behind it”
Your Alternative: A machete with absolutely no meaning whatsoever
Why explain to Stephanie over brunch that your tattoo represents courage as you persist through life when instead you could lean back and ask, “I don’t know, why do you think I had a broad combat blade inked on my underboob?” Never underestimate the potential humor behind the awkward silence that you created.